small (failing predictions)

I feel small, almost nothing is going how I expected it could have gone. A year ago I would have never predicted that now I could have been in love, and so far from my work and life targets, at the same time.

Adventures in social media web life are driving me far from a respected expertise. The more I dive deep into the web, the more I feel lost and without rules to understand who’s driving and what’s the direction. Cloud computing is going big, outsourcing seems a business… while I have been always focused in learning the more technical skills I could.

Now I’m missing the swarm direction. I wake up in the city every morning and the traffic jam is shouting at my human senses, making me wish a relaxing house in the suburbs. Failing predictions about the next big moves puzzles my mind.

Sometimes mistakes have importance, you listen and try to avoid as possible. Now it’s been a while since I cannot remember even important mistakes, and this makes me feel useless, coward and with less and less to tell. dog is shit table uncle bananas. Even After the deadline plugin is failing to correct my words.

The feeling is that I need another environment to test/try my ideas in the field. Sometimes even Internet seems small.

Posted in Old new media, simone righini's english posts | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Social Real time web is not that exciting

Dear social Analysts,

feelings are stronger than you think.

Like many others I’m now curious of why I’m spending most of my online time on social networks. Except for what I’m reading in the FeedReader, I’m experiencing a decrease of the quality of my online time. Maybe people is putting all their energy on those super boring Facebook statuses, they are so easy to comment with those useless likes or comments. My trusted friends are living their lives far from me and their need to post those elaborate and meaningful blog posts that I loved seems now ended.

Also casual online gaming is stealing a lot of my time. Plus finally I managed to have a private life and when I’m online I try to get only some stats about current projects, read+answer to emails and a lot of feedreading for my personal interests. All I need from an internet connection is now in my cellphone and I try to focus on work while on the PC.

I’m not happy with my productivity but I’m not in the need for a job so I keep alive only the minimum of my will to focus on my customer’s needs during online consulting sessions.

My offline world now speaks about what is online, the TV news are now mostly empty and distant stuff. I try to keep updated with my few real life friends, but it’s hard to meet in some physical places.

Since I completely detached from my work aspirations, 2 years ago I started focusing on how to achieve a personal life. Now that I’m having some rewarding time with my loving girlfriend, I’m digging in my experience to take out something interesting for my work future.

I know how to be a guide for myself during hard times of sacrifice, and that sacrifice now is invisible.

I’m also getting more and more philosophical during my work-time instead of being technical as I would like to be. Working on this side of the search engines is a matter of trust and it’s more about believing than knowledge.

Another fact about my personal life is that I left much of my need for work satisfaction behind while trying to get in touch with lost parts of my family, and my family is big now, and full of memories about each one of my relatives. While I’m still losing contact with a big part of my family, my online friendships are the same and very rewarding for the latest bunch of years (they are still M., Adam and Alessandro the undead) despite of that useless time on social websites.

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Surrogates

This seems a time for big Hollywood movies about virtual reality addiction and robots. Oh well maybe from the ’80s this trend never really ended. Anyway Surrogates with Bruce Willis is a movie about becoming old and fearful about reality.

There are just few moments dedicated to deep emotions, while we see silent actors looking at each other, or the same actors looking to the other actors disguised as robots. That use of silence reminded me some Korean indie movies. Maybe it’s a meta-movie too, it could speak about any verbal difficulty in human interactions. Here’s the movie recipe, if you are interested:

  • 15% old people (mostly bruce willis, bruce we <3 u!)
  • 30% jumping robots + explosions
  • 10% silent gazes
  • 5% messed up humans connected to big virtual reality environments
  • 10% thriller plot
  • 30% rhetorical questions

If your are interested in my personal life, after this movie something has changed (in my DNA) so I’m bravely switching  from a sentimental involvement to another almost painlessly. My business it’s ok and is shifting to SEO consulting (which i find very rewarding). Later this year I’ll go for a quick visit to friends in Arizona and California.

Posted in film AAA | 1 Comment

the NO that doesn’t make you learn

There is a common believing in actual behavioral science: some people saying No to a child during their learning years could be good to set the children’s self limits and acceptance of the external world.

I’m no more a child, but I try to keep alive my inner child, when possible. When i’m deeply into some analytical task, having an alive child inside with all his creativity and lateral thought can be very useful to get new thesis to analyze.

What happens when errors and bad experiences in life force this little guy to stay silent? All the inner team get depressed and it’s difficult to get them back.

I know when I’m not ready for a jump, and I also know that I don’t have to tell anybody that I’m planning some kind of jump: because when someone know that you are trying to jump somewhere it’s natural their try to influence the normal flow of things.

They try to encourage you, they say what’s right and what’s is not right. They even say “yeah! it’s time for you to try“. And when you trust people, and you try, and you fail, there is just you and your inner guy to deal with the failure.

as Adam said some days ago, keeping things inside is painful, but most of the times does the job. Then what happens if after too many things kept inside you start losing some people? and what happens when even if you are trying, you lose anyway people during your journey? This is happening to me, and I don’t know where this road is going.

But failing with my own decision is better than failing for other people’s decisions.

Posted in pain, silence, simone righini's english posts | Tagged | Leave a comment
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